With Moontower just a few weeks away, we thought we’d take a moment to look at some of the best tweets from comedians (and one Ghostbuster) appearing at the festival next month. The full schedule is up as of this week with a complete list of performers, shows, podcasts, and special events. Check out all of the action on our completely redesigned website. Badge up today! And now, without any further ado, here are your tweets of the week!
Just passed Chris Christie in the back of a TGIF sobbing onto a large pile of onion rings and guzzling a Megarita. Anyone know what’s up?
— David Cross (@davidcrosss) March 3, 2016
DO NOT EAT BREAD it is so bad for you unless it’s toasted with avocado on it and costs $15 or you’re Oprah.
— Annie Lederman (@annielederman) February 28, 2016
I can never spot the crying baby on my plane. They’re like crickets in your house.
— Joe List (@JoeListComedy) March 3, 2016
When I was 19, I would give bartenders a fake id, and if they didn’t buy it, I’d show them my fake ego and fake super ego.
— Ian Abramson (@ianabramson) March 3, 2016
I wish someone would tell the cockroaches in my apartment how famous I am.
— Jenny Zigrino (@jennyzisnice) March 1, 2016
“I look like a marionette that was beaten in the face” – Ted Cruz
— James Adomian (@JAdomian) March 4, 2016
What’s a good coffee shop to go to if I wanna look like I’m working on something important?
— Debra DiGiovanni (@DebraDiGiovanni) March 3, 2016
If Captain America didn’t have super powers you know he’d be one of those TSA agents who take themselves way too seriously.
— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) February 29, 2016
just found a single Corn Nut™ in the middle of the floor. have not eaten these in years and I’m home alone. terror?
— JOHNNNYPEMBERTON (@johnnypemberton) March 3, 2016
OMG ITS “the power of petty compels you” GEEEEZ can not hear!! That don’t eve sound like pain. https://t.co/GvhSCNo0r5
— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) March 3, 2016