Hello my baby / Hello my honey / Hello my ragtime gal / Send me a TWEET by wire / Baby my SOCIAL MEDIA’s on fire.
Guys, I am truly sorry for what I just did. Can I make it up to you with some tweets of the week? Good idea. Thanks! Have a great weekend! You too! My car’s over here. Oh, haha, me too. We should really hang out sometime. Yeah, I’d like that, I’ve just been really busy lately. Yeah, I know how that goes! Haha, yeah me too! Okay bye for real this time!
An 18 foot python was found in Florida, which is bad news for a state whose leading source of income is a giant mouse.
— Dana Gould (@danagould) July 30, 2015
I accidentally erased everything that was saved on my DVR I think this is the part where I sign up for a salsa dancing class — Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 31, 2015
i’m just saying, if my name was JD POWER, i would’ve done more with it than reviewing cars.
— Pete Holmes (@peteholmes) July 28, 2015
Meek Mill would be a good name for a small town in Vermont — joe mande (@JoeMande) July 31, 2015
“Fix it in post” is the auto-tune of filmmaking.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) July 30, 2015
Ran my fingers over the walls for 30 mins then realized there aren’t lights in this hotel room bc the darkness is in me. — Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) July 31, 2015
He didn’t call his car Brad and “happy dances” don’t exist except in commercials. Cut it out @LibertyMutual. It’s annoying.
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) July 29, 2015
“Tom Brady did nothing wrong” is Boston’s “The Confederate Flag isn’t really about slavery.” — Brian Gaar (@briangaar) July 28, 2015
Already crushing it this morning. Can’t wait for the rest of the day. pic.twitter.com/EfZZH68OQy
— Nate Bargatze (@natebargatze) July 30, 2015