Moontower is so close I can almost taste it. Nevermind, that was a piece of popcorn stuck in my teeth. Where was I? Oh yes, with the festival just around the corner, I thought I’d check in with the Moontower class of 2014 on Twitter. Here now are some of the funniest tweets this week by comics slated to perform at the fest this year!
Bored and lonely in this plush hotel and now I finally understand The Great Gatsby.
— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) March 14, 2014
My chances of being famous were on that Malaysian plane. Oh well — Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) March 14, 2014
No one talks about how difficult it is for female comics to find a hoodie that fits. #equalitynow
— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) March 14, 2014
My Dad and I aren’t close enough to ever end up in a game of HORSE with Tony the Tiger. — Rory Scovel (@roryscovel) March 14, 2014
Me: “right here.” Cab: “right here?” Me: “yea.” (he makes a right.) Me: “the fuck are you goin?” Cab: “YOU SAY, RIGHT HERE!”
— Michael Che (@CheThinks) March 12, 2014
Scientists unable to prove that 2 Broke Girls and New Girl are different shows.
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) March 13, 2014
Look, I’m all for an open society, but I just think dudes who fly with their own yoga mat should have to use a separate airport.
— kurt braunohler (@kurtbraunohler) March 13, 2014
Look, dude at the Verizon store, don’t ask how I’m doin today if you aren’t prepared to hear, “Good, for someone who buried her Dad on Mon!”
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 13, 2014
"We do apologize" = We are happy that something has gone wrong.
— James Adomian (@JAdomian) March 13, 2014
*raises hand in preschool* not to be a dick, but we’re never gonna need to know our animal sounds in the real world — Brian Gaar (@briangaar) March 13, 2014
The lady in front of me at Starbucks is asking if she can bring in her old Starbucks cards to be recycled. I'm being tested.
— GregWarren (@GregWarren) March 14, 2014
— Hannibal Buress (@hannibalburess) March 8, 2014