Top Five Schedules in Recorded Human History

Schedules: everyone uses them but which ones are the best? Over the years, we humans have used “sched-ules” to organize events, order tasks, and commit resources between a variety of tasks. It’s an exciting history that crosses time periods and continents! Today we’re going to take an unbiased look at the very best schedules in the history of the world. Let’s dive in!

5. Benson’s Hall Monitor Schedule (McCarthy Elementary; 1953)
It was during a particularly long and boring day that eight-year-old Fred Benson was came up with the very first hall monitoring schedule. At the time, there was no system in place so any number of children could be found patrolling the halls without assigned times. In the coming months, Benson not only developed an early version of the hall pass, but also came up with a system of rewards and punishments that would ultimately be his undoing. R.I.P.
LeedomSchool1950sClassUnknown

 4. Pharaoh Zoser’s Giza Pyramids Construction Schedule (El Giza, Egypt; circa 2560 B.C.)
The rudimentary but efficient construction schedule utilized an early calendar to organize time and schedule the resources necessary to build the Giza pyramid, one of the Seven Wonders of the World. It’s one of the pinnacles of human achievement that still stands today. This schedule would have ranked higher up in our survey if it weren’t for the use of slave labor. Still, kudos on the great job!
GizaPyramids1

3. Pine View Service Station’s bathroom cleaning schedule (Jacksonville, GA; 1942)
This service station pioneered the use of the bathroom cleaning schedule, requiring employees to initial after completing a task. During the station’s heyday, it was not uncommon for as many as five employees to enter the facilities with a customer and do everything from mopping the bathroom floors to shining the driver’s shoes! pineview

2. NBC’s Saturday Morning Schedule (USA; 1985-86)
Forget Thursday’s so-called Must See TV, Saturday mornings in 1985 was where it was at! Spiderman, Mr. T, AND The Smurfs? Get the pancakes and let’s fire up that tube! The geniuses behind this television schedule at NBC outdid themselves with this one. Though now forgotten and probably dead, these Peacock execs left quite a legacy!

1. Moontower Comedy and Oddity Festival (Austin, Texas; April 2014)

The Kids in the Hall! Demitri Martin! Maria Bamford! Hannibal Burress! Marc Maron! These are just a few of the names that I am shouting aloud at this coffee shop. Additionally, they are on the 2014 Moontower Comedy Festival schedule which was released today! Check it out in all it’s glory here and start planning your Moontower!

‘Kids in the Hall’ Number Among Moontower’s Lengthy List of Celebrity Partners

MOONTOWER-LISTWatch out Lindsay, Moontower’s list of famous partners is growing every day! We can’t help it, we love funny people. Instead of slut-shaming us, why not kick back and take a closer look at all five members of The Kids in the Hall who will be at Moontower this April for two live shows! For each of the five Kids, I’ve chosen a video and highlighted five of their most famous characters. Click on each alias to see the character in a sketch. It’s a Kids in the Hall love fest this April! Get on our list and see them LIVE at Moontower on April 25th and 26th! Individual tickets are on sale now! (TICKETS)

 

1. Dave Foley aka  A.T. & Love Boss aka Bad Doctor aka HecubusJocelyn aka Mr. Heavyfoot.

2. Bruce McCulloch aka Bobby Terrance aka Cabbage Head aka Cancer Boy aka Flying Pig aka Gavin.

3. Kevin MacDonald aka Armada Leader aka Bearded Lady aka Darcy Pennell aka Sir Simon Milligan aka Smitty.

4. Mark McKinney aka Bigot Cabbie aka Chicken Lady aka Darrill aka Mississippi Gary aka Mr. Tyzik the Head Crusher.

5. Scott Thompson aka Buddy Cole aka Butch aka Cathy Strupp aka Danny Husk aka The Queen.

See our full list of celebrity partners here!

The Best Tweets This Week from the Moontower Class of 2014

tweetsthisweekMoontower is so close I can almost taste it. Nevermind, that was a piece of popcorn stuck in my teeth. Where was I? Oh yes, with the festival just around the corner, I thought I’d check in with the Moontower class of 2014 on Twitter. Here now are some of the funniest tweets this week by comics slated to perform at the fest this year!

For more, check out the Moontower Comedy 2014 list on Twitter and grab tickets to the fest here!

Andy Kindler Should Be in a Mansion Yelling at a Contractor

Andy KindlerAt the first Moontower, when Maria Bamford finished an interview and learned that Andy Kindler was performing next door, she tore off to the theater to catch the end of his set. She literally ran. Ms. Bamford stood in the back of the showroom and erupted with laughter as Andy deconstructed his performance with self-effacing bravado. He has a reputation as the comic’s comic for a reason.

We’re lucky to have Andy Kindler in this world.  He keeps us honest. Every year at Montreal’s Just For Laughs festival, Kindler takes the stage and takes comedians to task at his annual State of the Industry address. Whether he’s good-naturedly ribbing Louis CK or lamenting Jay Leno’s surrender to the dark side, he is completely unafraid. No one is safe, not even Kindler himself. That being said, he’s also one of the nicest people in show business. It’s not that he hates the Lenos of the world, it’s that he legitimately loves comedy and thinks we deserve better.

Kindler returns to Moontower this April. I got the chance to speak with him about his evolving act, working with David Letterman, and his upcoming State of the Industry address.

Kindler and Bamford

When did you first perform in Austin? What are your early memories from your first shows here?

It was the early 90’s. It was a special time. The comedy boom was ending, and you could see the desperation in my eyes. I was excited about going. I had heard so many great things about Austin, and it was all true.  I met Howard Kremer, Laura House, Chip Pope, and a whole bunch of great comedians.  I do remember being a little frightened at the Velveeta Room because of how vicious the comics went after each other when they performed. I knew it was part of the bonding experience, but I had never seen something like that before. To join in the fun I heckled myself on stage.

I played Cap City, and I often struggled in the room with the people who paid, but I do remember comics in the back of the room enjoying it. To be honest, I always carried a laugh track on cassette with me on the road along with a boom box. I would put it in the back of the club and have a friend operate it That’s how I started the rumor that I was a comic’s comic.

 

How has your act has changed over the years? Do you approach your material the same way today that you did when you first started?

Early on I approached with trepidation because my material was bad. When I started I actually believed the audience knew what was funny. This was before I developed my “contempt for the masses” style. I just saw someone on Twitter seriously use “the masses” in a tweet.

Back to my compelling story. I always commented on the joke not working, which at the beginning, didn’t help. Over the years I “refined” and “honed” it. I can’t stop it with the quotes around everything. I started talking more about the entertainment industry and other comedians around 7 years in. The comedians and TV networks sometimes didn’t enjoy being made fun of, which probably affected my “bottom line.” That’s why I have time to do this q & a. I should be in my mansion yelling at a contractor.

 

You’ve had some amazing Letterman segments over the years, both your stand-up and the remotes. What was it like meeting him for the first time? Can you describe your collaboration with him on the prerecorded pieces?

It’s hard to talk about this without sounding sappy, but what has happened on the Late Show has been a dream come true for me. Dave is my comedy hero, so all the stuff that’s happened with me being able to do standup and the field pieces has been the greatest. And it all happened because of him. It was his decision to bring me on to do the remotes. I have never met him outside the show, but he couldn’t be nicer and more gracious and supportive when I’m there. Sometimes we talk a little when the remote is played back in the studio, and it’s always a thrill, but I do get very nervous because he’s the king!

I work on the prerecorded pieces with the writers, who come up with a bunch of jokes and scenarios, and then during the event, we use those jokes and anything else that comes up in the moment. My improv abilities are ON the hook. I have become great friends with Jeremy Weiner, who is a brilliant writer on the show and hilarious as a person. He’s my point man, whatever that means, and goes on the shoots with me He feeds me lines while I’m interviewing people. We fake yell at each other all day until the crew wants to strangle us, WITH LOVE.

 

Who’s going to get it at this year’s State of the Industry address?

It’s going to be all about Jimmy Fallon. I’m going to try and see if I can go a half hour longer so I can break down everything that disturbs me about the Fallon phenomenon. He’s a song and dance man! He’s quite a hoofer. Plus he’s so upbeat, and happy, and enthusiastic, and energetic, and phony. The American Dream!

For more information on this year’s Moontower Comedy Festival and a complete lineup of performers visit www.moontowercomedyfestival.com

 

Individual Tickets Go On Sale Today at 10am!

Moontower Individual Ticket

Single and ready to mingle! That’s right, single tickets for shows at the Paramount Theatre, including headliners Kids in the Hall, Fred Armisen (with special guest Ian Rubbish), Mike Birbiglia, Marc Maron, Demetri Martin, Hannibal Buress, Maria Bamford, Dennis Millerand J.B. Smoove GO ON SALE AT 10AM TODAY! To purchase tickets and view all shows available, go to moontowercomedyfestival.com. And forget I said that single and ready to mingle thing, that was dumb.

If you are planning on catching several shows, I really recommend thinking about a badge. Many of today’s headliners were playing smaller shows in intimate venues in previous years of the fest so it’s a real value for comedy nerds. That being said, these Paramount shows are going to be absolutely amazing so no matter what your situation, think about getting a ticket before they’re ALL GONE!

Was that too sale-sy? I really believe it though!

And now, as if you needed another reason to see Kids in the Hall, here’s Buddy Cole reporting from the Sochi Olympics on The Colbert Show.

Comics, They’re Just Like Us: Aziz Ansari

Comics - They're Just Like UsAziz Ansari may be a world class headliner, but in many ways, he’s exactly like us! Welcome to the first edition of…

COMICS: THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!

They go to Franklin’s!

They play Seinfeld Monopoly!

They make Friday Night Lights jokes that get posted in the Huffington Post!

They don’t get recognized by scalpers!

They star in Sesame Street segments!

They have copies of HITCH waiting for them in their hotel rooms!

They hang out with costar Rashida Jones at the Golden Globes!

And finally, they add a third show in Austin when the first two sell out!

That’s right, due to popular demand, Moontower Comedy has added a third Aziz show! Badgeholders get priority seat access so if you haven’t bought your badge yet, here’s a good reason to take care of it.

More info and badges at www.moontowercomedyfestival.com.

First Wave of Names Announced for 2014!

Moontower 2014

At last! The day has come! Time to let the cat out of the bag! The cat is mad that it was in the bag! Without any further ado (let’s be honest, we’ve all had enough ado), here is the first wave of performers for the 2014 Moontower Comedy & Oddity Fest!

Let’s start with the headliners!

KIDS IN THE HALL - Kids in the F#%king Hall! Dave Foley. Bruce McCulloch. Kevin McDonald. Mark McKinney. Scott Thompson. Two shows. Paramount Theatre. I. Cannot. Wait.

MIKE BIRBIGLIA – He wowed audiences with his live show and indie film SLEEPWALK WITH ME based on his real life issues with sleepwalking. A great all around storyteller and, more importantly, he’s incredibly funny.

DENNIS MILLER – Yes, that Dennis Miller! Yes, I’m curious too! Yes, I’m hoping that someone will put him and Andy Kindler in a room. Yes, you should go to this show. Yes, I’ll be at the head of the line.

DEMETRI MARTIN – I caught a very short set of his last year and I was surprised by how good it was to see him again. I used to watch his show every now and then and thought he was clever but this time out, he just destroyed. I’m really excited to see him do a longer set.

MARIA BAMFORD - Is there anyone better? Just typing her name makes me happy. I’ve seen Maria many times and I never, ever have been disappointed. I’m excited to see her at the Paramount this year! What can I say, she is a delight!

HANNIBAL BURESS – The first time I saw Hannibal was at Cap City when he was first headlining. It was Thursday and he was in the small room. I was hooked immediately. I called my friends and was back Friday watching him in the big room. His career has been on the upswing ever since. Truly one of my all time favorites.

JB SMOOVE – His portrayal of Leon on Curb Your Enthusiasm is one of the best comic performances of the past few years. His standup is just as exciting and off the wall. He’s incredibly energetic on stage and brings a physicality to his comedy that is unmatched. A true original.

But that’s not all! The lineup also includes COLIN QUINN, ANDY KINDLER, JAMES ADOMIAN, RON FUNCHES, RORY SCOVEL, MIKE LAWRENCE, SEAN PATTON, CAMERON ESPOSITO, BRENT MORIN, DOM IRRERA, and many more. The full lineup including additional headliners will be announced soon.

This year Moontower will be presenting some additional shows in the lead up to the festival! AZIZ ANSARI will play the Bass Concert Hall on Friday, April 18.  Three hundred of the best seats will be available to badge holders as part of a special package deal. Very cool. Supplies are limited so jump on this while you can. Web phenom MIRANDA SINGS will also play Stateside at the Paramount Sunday, April 27.

Moontower 2014 First Wave

STAY TUNED! In the coming weeks, I’ll be bringing you festival news, updates to the lineup, interviews with performers, and more! For more information on badges and individual tickets, check out moontowercomedyfest.com! It’s going to be a great year!

 

The Funniest Videos From the Polar Vortex

Screening Room Arctic Blast

While we certainly haven’t had it as bad as our friends up east, we’ve had our share of cold weather right here in Austin. In fact the so-called “Polar Vortex” has affected most states, sending many inside to binge watch Netflix and order in food. While it’s been a bummer for some, it hasn’t all been bad. It seems like everyone from Jon Stewart to a greyhound in a onesie has starred in a funny video involving the cold winter blast. Here now are the best videos to come out of the Polar Vortex!

Stephen Colbert winterized his studio.

A Corgi did a belly flop in the snow.

Jon Stewart took on the climate change deniers.

This man invited a herd of deer over for breakfast.

Cousin Sal threw snowballs at people on an LA beach.

A greyhound ran around in a Batman onesie.

And this kid jumped on an icy trampoline.

Brrr! That’s all for now. Stay tuned to for some exciting Moontower announcements later this month!

The Best Christmas Specials You’ve Never Seen

Screening Room ChristmasHo ho ho! I’ve been combing the internet looking for what I consider to be the best overlooked Christmas specials of the past 30 years. While I couldn’t find absolutely everything, I was very happy with what I turned up. This assembly of programs deconstruct the traditional holiday special in hilarious and inventive ways. Collectively they are hosted by a Late Night icon, an insult comic dog, a Kid in the Hall, two lunatics, a drunk, and Pee-Wee Herman! Here now, are some of my favorite, oft-forgotten Christmas specials. Happy Holidays!

 

Christmas with the Lettermans • Late Night with David Letterman
A one-hour send-up of countless corny Christmas specials featuring Letterman’s pretend family and memorable numbers like “Smells Like Christmas Time”.

 

The Triumph Family Christmas Special • Late Night with Conan O’Brien
The insult comic dog hosted a mini special on Late Night with Conan O’Brien in 1998 where we meet his uncooperative son and his poodle mistress. Featuring an appearance from Triumph’s College All-American Football Team

 

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special • Pee-Wee’s Playhouse
This 1988 special features appearances from Little Richard, Magic Johnson, Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello, Charo, k.d. lang, and Dinah Shore. Pee-Wee pokes gentle fun at the holiday special while maintaining a genuine sweetness.

 

Dave Foley’s The True Meaning of Christmas Specials • CBC Television Special
Considered by many to be the holy grail of Christmas specials as it was once very difficult to find. This 2002 CBC special is hosted by Kids in The Hall and NewRadio’s Dave Foley and features a long list of celebrity guests including Dick Dale, Joe Flaherty, Tom Green, Mike Myers, Andy Richter, Jason Priestly, and Dave Thomas.

 

Kenny vs. Spenny’s Christmas Special
This freewheeling Christmas special was also the series finale for the popular Canadian show. For the uninitiated, two friends named Kenny and Spenny dedicate each episode of their quasi reality show to a series of competitions. The loser typically performs some act of humiliation of the loser’s choosing. In this episode, Kenny and Spenny compete to see who can create the best Christmas themed variety show.

Drunk History Christmas • Drunk History
In this special edition of Derek Waters’ Drunk History, Allan McLeod drinks a bottle of whiskey and recites a famous Christmas poem. Jim Carrey, Ryan Gosling, and Eva Mendes perform the reenactment.

Top 10 Nick Kroll Characters of All Time

Nick Kroll

Is there anyone working today who is better at doing characters than Nick Kroll? Key and Peele, Paul F. Tompkins, and Andy Daly certainly give him a run for his money, but no one has captured the public imagination in the way that Kick Kroll has through his work on Comedy Bang Bang, Funny or Die, and the wildly popular Kroll Show. Nick performs at the Paramount Theatre tonight at 7pm and at least a handful of 2 for 1 balcony tickets are still available. Grab your tickets and check out my completely biased ranking of the top 10 Nick Kroll characters of all time!

 

10. C-Czar

9. Chance the Slam Poet

8. Dr. Armond

7. Liz from PubLIZity


6. Aspen Bruckenheimer

5. Spotted Ox Hostel Guy

4. Fabrice Fabrice

3. Gil Faizon

2. Bobby Bottleservice

1. El Chupacabra

 

Nick Kroll performs at the Paramount Theatre tonight at 7pm.  2 for 1 balcony tickets are on sale now. (Discount automatically taken at checkout when purchasing 2 tickets). Tickets.