Andy Kindler’s Nine Best Maron Lines

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On IFC’s Maron, Andy Kindler portrays a semi-fictionalized Marc Maron’s semi-fictionalized friend Andy Kindler. Currently in production for its fourth season — slated to debut this spring — the show continues highlighting the Daily Show, Letterman, Everybody Loves Raymond, Last Comic Standing and Bob’s Burgers vet as Maron’s voice of misanthropic reason.

Season One

“I met your father outside. He offered to sell me boner vitamins out of his camper.”

“Let’s just go to the gym, okay? We’ll do chest, we’ll do back, tris and thighs. We’ll get it all done today…because I don’t ever plan on going back again.”7409670024_e0369c3af6_b

“What, are you losing another Twitter war with a 9-year-old?”

“Don’t beat yourself up. There’s no scenario in which your life wouldn’t be completely miserable.”

Season Two

Maron: “Lemme ask you something: Do you sometimes just talk to hear yourself talk?” Kindler: “Mostly! I didn’t even know you were still in the room!”

“$4,000?! Jesus, dude! I could buy five cars with that!”

[Holding a Lenny Bruce record] “You ever hear of this guy? This guy good? Did he do, like, song parodies, this guy? Does he look familiar? Why does he look angry?”

Kindler: “I don’t want to go out there alone.” Maron: “You’re not alone, you’ve got Dave [Anthony].” Kindler: “That’s worse than being alone.”

Season Three

“I hate to break it to you, but you’re successful. And from what I hear, that can be a strain. I don’t have any personal experience with success, but I’ve read some articles and seen some documentaries…”

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Andy Kindler performs on the Moontower Comedy Festival this April.

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